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Finally, there are several options that use a more realistic shape read dildos and vibrators but can be filled with semen. There is also some research that shows that female orgasm can actually increase the odds of conception , as well.
Choosing either the old-fashioned way or do-it-yourself artificial insemination means that the gestational partner is going to be exposed to semen.
It should go without saying that there is a risk of sexually transmitted diseases inherent in this. Both the biological father and the gestational partner should both be tested for sexually transmitted diseases before attempting conception.
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A man donates sperm to a woman for insemination — it doesn't matter if she's single or in a relationship. The donor can be a friend or a private donor found online or through community networks.
The process can be performed at home using a needleless syringe known as home insemination or DIY insemination , or at a fertility clinic.
You can take your own sperm donor to a clinic or they have banks of donor sperm which is protected under the partial anonymity law in the UK the donor remains anonymous until your child turns 18 at which time your child has the right to trace their sperm donor.
If you're looking into this option, it's generally advised to go to a licensed clinic where sperm is screened to ensure it's free from STIs and the woman or women are given clear legal rights.
The law changed in so lesbian couples who are in a civil partnership or marriage at the time of conception are both their child's legal parents, regardless of how the child was conceived.
For those who aren't married or in a civil partnership, if you conceive through donor insemination at a licensed clinic, both partners will be treated as the child's legal parents.
But, when non-married partners conceive through donor insemination at home, the non-birth mother has no legal parenthood and will have to adopt the child to obtain parental rights.
Typically this happens when a lesbian or heterosexual woman and a gay man team up to have children together, though sexuality is irrelevant.
The man will donate sperm to the woman again either through a licensed clinic or for home insemination , and both parties share responsibility for and custody of their child.
If you do decide to co-parent, you won't have sole custody. Therefore, it's definitely worth getting legal advice beforehand and spending time talking through how it will work.
The details can be tricky, from how costs will be split to where the child lives and the degree of involvement each co-parent will have with the child.
But there are also many benefits to co-parenting such as sharing the responsibility , having more support and a larger extended family who loves your child.
Many lesbian couples don't want to go through the stressful process of insemination or the complications of involving another parent and so the idea of adopting is appealing.
Same-sex couples can apply to adopt through a local authority or adoption agency. Surrogacy happens when another woman has a baby for a couple who can't have a child themselves.
But it's actually quite rare in the UK. It's legal here, but no money other than 'reasonable expenses' can be paid to the surrogate.
There's also nothing in the law preventing her keeping the baby after it's born if she changes her mind. It's even illegal to advertise for surrogates.
Surrogacy is not commonly used by lesbians but is a more common option for gay men who often go abroad where there is legal framework in place or no restrictions.
When Hannah and Rowena started their journey to parenthood nearly 15 years ago, adoption was the first option they really considered.
But they soon came up against some frustrating hurdles. She painted a very negative picture of homophobia within the system and said, "you are potentially going to be faced with only being offered second rate children because you're seen as a second rate family".
Hannah says the social worker also criticised her and her partner's lifestyles, suggesting they needed a mortgage and she shouldn't be taking antidepressants Hannah was on a low dose of citalopram at the time , in order for adoption agencies to take them seriously.
But she states that things are very different now. Homophobia has not been entirely eradicated but the system really recognises the positive side of gay people having families.
Put off adoption thanks to the tactless caseworker, Hannah and Rowena tried other routes, from asking friends to donate sperm to insemination at a clinic.
Neither of us were motivated to do that initially. But obviously, we've both got wombs so it's a possibility.
So we approached male friends. One was quite interested. We all got quite excited but he finally decided that he was just a bit too young and wasn't ready for it," reveals Hannah.
So the couple decided donor insemination at a clinic might be a better bet. But this was in April , they were caught out by the law, which had recently changed.
Now, when donor-conceived people reach 16 years old, they would be entitled to apply for information about their donor.
It meant that much of the sperm stores in banks around the country at that time was essentially defunct because they had been donated under full anonymity laws.
Eventually, Hannah found one clinic which would take them on, but it meant travelling all the way to London. The clinic started suggesting IVF, which would take the fees into the thousands, but with Hannah in her early 30s with no known fertility issues the couple felt it was too early to go down this expensive and stressful road.
After a fourth insemination, where a faulty plunger caused a nurse to end up with the donor sperm on her face , the couple decided to move on.
They spent many months exploring their options on matching websites — talking to and in some cases meeting private donors and gay men interested in co-parenting.
Despite feeling desperate to get on with it and use a donor, the couple met a gay couple interested in co-parenting whom they really liked.
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